Experiencing Yoga from the Inside Out
So many times we hear within the teachings of yoga postures, the postures are best experienced and expressed from the inside out. The outward form or physical practice of yoga, called asana, is an expression of our own unique inner beauty, light, and truth shining forth. The feeling is very similar to watching a flower open its petals to the morning sunlight, each one a diverse, dynamic and beautiful entity. I truly believe in this approach and regularly share this method of embracing yoga with my students, encouraging everyone to gently meet themselves right where they are at, each and every day; to listen to their innate, inner knowledge and to stay in the present. Yet, traveling my own personal path as well as mapping those of my many students, I have found the initial exploring of yoga beliefs and benefits often begins from the outside in…and this process comes from our past and may reoccur every time we come to the mat.
My yoga story began in my early thirties, almost 20 years after having spinal fusion surgery on my lower back. I had been pain free for many years after the back surgery, but the aging process and misalignment in my body structure started taking its toll. Some mornings even getting out of bed seemed daunting as my joints, especially in my lower back, creaked and groaned. I felt stiff and achy most of the time—and the chronic pain I held in my body caused almost constant exhaustion, lack of energy, and depression. Although I knew I should be grateful for the many pain-free years I had enjoyed, the current quality of my daily life was very poor and limited.
In search of assistance for pain relief, I went to doctors and various medical specialists who all recommended a combination of drugs, further surgery, and physical therapy. I absolutely refused surgery and felt dreadful on the drugs, so opted for the therapy route. After numerous therapy visits, I found the exercises increased my body pain, increased my stress and anxiety levels, and did nothing to uplift my spirit or enhance my general well being. I was frustrated and felt angry that my body had betrayed me.
Then a friend suggested I try a gentle-style yoga class, and my journey into my true healing began. Like so many others, I found the benefits from my yoga practice to be multi-leveled, including relief from physical as well as mental and emotional pain. As I began to let go of some of the physical pain held so long in my body, the doors began to open for painful emotions and memories to be released as well. I began to live my life more fully and richly, and to appreciate being in my body once again. After three years of practicing yoga, I felt inspired to become a teacher and to share the many treasures of my yoga experiences with others. I have now been teaching for seven years, and am blessed to have found great peace and joy in my life’s work.
To this day, every time I set my space to practice or teach yoga, I remember that it was from my pain, first external, and then internal, that I was gifted this extraordinary knowledge. Every day I redefine and set my intent and boundaries for the work ahead. Each time I practice I ask the universe, the power which surrounds and guides us all, whatever we name it, to grant me the gifts that will best serve me and those around me. Some days I may seek and be sent more peace and quiet in my life, some days more energy and strength, some days more flexibility and ease; but, I am always most thankful for the times when I receive the ability to manage and release my chronic physical pain more easily—and in turn how this reflects my internal hurts. Then, I remind myself again that inside is where the practice really begins, even when I may have to enter through a different portal. I strive to remember to simply shine my light out to the world and be willing to receive it back once more, both on the mat and in my everyday waking life.
NAMASTE
